"I bought my wife a $250 dildo that moves around like a severed limb in the Evil Dead. That is all."
I got my wife something similar, but it was free because i was born with it. It is not severed and probably doesn't move quite the same way. Love the description though.
...wait....you can make your dick move around like a $250 dildo and vibrate?! Must be a post 1970 model then?!